Here Come the Mummies — and there goes one of my two cardinal rules for covering entertainment.
Ever since e-mail became the most expedient form of communication, I’ve made it a habit never to do e-mail interviews for one simple reason: There’s no way of knowing who is actually answering the e-mail.
It could be the celebrated artist I’m interested in profiling in my column but who, for whatever reason, doesn’t want to do a phone interview. But the answers could just as easily be coming from an anonymous publicist or even an unpaid intern working for donuts and college credits.
I’ve also avoided talking to the dead. If word got out that I regularly communicate with those on the other side, it could affect my journalistic credibility. Or quite possibly invite a lawsuit from John Edwards, the psychic medium who really does talk to those who have taken the big dirt nap. He might think I’m trying to steal work from him.
All of which brings us, in a round-about fashion, to this weekend’s Atlantic City debut of Here Come the Mummies, one of the best original funk and R&B bands you’ve never heard of. They’ll be performing during a costumes-optional Halloween party Saturday night, Oct. 29, in the Grand Exhibition Center at the Tropicana.
HCTM consists of 10 outrageously talented musicians who dress in mummy bandages from head to toe and whose birth names are as closely guarded a secret as the formula for Coca-Cola or Dolly Parton’s bra size.
Don’t bother trolling the Internet to discover their identities. I invested two hours of my life that I’ll never get back trying to uncover the mystery.
HCTM perform under cleverly humorous nome de crypts, like Java Mummy (it’s pronounced JAY-va), Eddie Mummy, Mummy Cass and my personal favorite, The Flu.
To promote their appearance, HCTM was willing to do an e-mail interview, which I turned down (see paragraphs two and three). I told Java, the group’s spokesmummy, that I wanted to do a phoner, which I could also use on my WOND radio show.
He informed me that mummies only speak when they’re playing their music, so they wouldn’t be able to do the phoner. I politely reminded the silent one that I wasn’t the one coming in to play a major casino venue in a market that had never heard of Here Come the Mummies. A day and time for the chat was quickly arranged.
Several days later, I dialed a number with a Nashville area code and was greeted by a growling Java Mummy. In the background I heard faint but funky guitar chords and a shaker-like rhythm; Mummy Cass and Eddie Mummy were sitting in on the conversation, adding their growls and moans of approval.
A 15-minute chat with the spokesmummy only raised more questions than it answered. Java stuck to the party line and gave no clues as to the true identities of the mummies. Even seemingly innocent questions elicited convoluted answers:
If you want to hear some authentic monster mash music, Here Come the Mummies is the band for you. The ghoulish guardians of funk will perform Saturday, Oct. 29, 9pm in the Tropicana’s Grand Exhibition Center as part of a Halloween Party. Tickets are $20 in advance, $25 at the door.
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1. Anonymous said... on Oct 26, 2011 at 08:51PM
“I know who some of HCTM are, but some are VERY elusive. Going to see 'em the night before AC, at The Vogue in Indy.”
2. Anonymous said... on Oct 27, 2011 at 06:19AM
“Why? Why would you post that you know who some of them are?
Even if you do, to mention it to people is disrespectful to the band! They don't want people to know, so who said you get to boast about it?!?”
3. E&B said... on Oct 27, 2011 at 01:16PM
“Agreed!!! Even if you know who ALL of them are, it does not give you any credit over anyone else. As a matter of fact, by saying this in a public forum makes them want to further retract from people, FOR JUST THIS REASON. They want anonymity, and by ANYONE saying they KNOW some of them, it will have a negative effect on meet and greets. They are constantly doing meet & greets after the shows for virgins and vetrans alike BECAUSE they keep their privacy. So, for future virgins getting into the group....Their identity are HERE COME THE MUMMIES. That's who they are. Java, Oozie, Eddie, Spaz, Pole, Cass, KW Tut, Rah, Teste, The Flu, Midnight, and the list goes on.... THATS WHO THEY ARE. Nuff said. And their REAL identity is : Phenominal Musicians!!!”
4. Anonymous said... on Oct 28, 2011 at 07:03AM
“could Mummies be the new Vampires?”
5. Anonymous said... on Oct 30, 2011 at 01:03PM
“You spent two hours on the Internet and couldn't find a clue as to whom HCTM are? Perhaps you should hire me as your Internet researcher. I have music from many different "alter egos" of the players that I would never have found had I not searched successfully. They are extremely talented musicians. I once saw one of them at a venue "unwrapped" and wanted desperately to discuss his two CDs I had already purchased and the one in the mail but I refrained. Somethings you just don't do and violate their privacy is one of them.”
6. Anonymous said... on Nov 20, 2011 at 09:44AM
“I agree with anonymous #5. The identities of many of the mummies can be found if you are crafty when searching on the internet. I know the identities of five of them based on some searching, but as anonymous #2 said, what does that get you..nothing so I do respect their desire to remain as the characters they portray and the outrageous fabulous musicians they are that put on a show that should not be missed for any reason-period!”
7. Anonymous said... on Dec 1, 2011 at 08:27AM
“really people....let them play their music and entertain us. What is the big deal on knowing who they are. All we need to know is they are HCTM and they are awesome. 2 hours on the net trying to get their identites?????get a life.”
8. Anonymous said... on Feb 14, 2012 at 01:01PM
“The bass player is Paul Arntz. He also created their first website. I am still working on finding out if any of the other players from the Ned Zeppelin tribute band are linked to them.”
9. Anonymous said... on Feb 19, 2012 at 01:41PM
“Did you see on the HCTM site that there is a rumor Cass is leaving the band? Do you know anything about this?”
10. Anonymous said... on May 4, 2012 at 08:45PM
“The guy who created the first website is also professor Dumbluck from the first record. He also plays bass but not with the band. I've heard from a somewhat reliable source that "The Pole" is also the bass player for the Dennis Deyoung band. They have been playing more casino dates lately because of this connection. I've heard the keyboard player "Spaz" is the same guy that used to tour with The Funk Brothers.”