Atlantic City Weekly

Not Your Average Everyday Guy

Brian Regan finds what's funny in the mundane

By Jeff Schwachter

CAP:�Brian Regan, one of the funniest guys in America , brings his You Too tour to the Borgata Saturday night for two shows. --> The bad news for Brian Regan fans was that tickets for the comedian's appearance at the Borgata's Music Box this weekend disappeared in a flash. The good news, however, was that the swift sellout prompted the casino to add a second show — in the larger Event Center room (at 11pm). For those who haven't found themselves laughing hysterically at Regan's material over the past decade — via his numerous late-night talk show appearances, his brilliant live CD and DVD, or his multiple cable specials — who don't know what the insane serving size listed on a package of Fig Newtons is, or who don't know that there actually are two sets of cooking instructions that come with Pop Tarts — you might not understand why somebody with tickets for the first show would want to return for the second show on Saturday night. Most Regan fans, however, wouldn't think twice about going to both.

Since last appearing in Atlantic City about 15 years ago, Regan has become Dennis Miller's favorite comic, was named Best Comedian at the American Comedy Awards (1996) and has sold over 25,000 copies of his 2004 stand-up DVD, I Walked on the Moon. The witty comedian with nary a curse word in his act, and facial expressions and mannerisms that are alone worth the price of admission to his shows, concentrates on theaters over comedy clubs these days, but hasn't forgotten his roots in long drives and one-nighters. One particularly bad date "somewhere in New Jersey" sticks in his mind.

"It was notoriously the worst room that there was," recalls Regan. "I show up at this room and I should have just turned around and walked right out. There were no chairs. It was just a bunch of drunk guys — standing. The stage was like behind the bar. So you're on stage and you're looking down at bartenders, the bar and then this sea full of drunken New Jersey guys. And I was going to be the first comic, without even an offstage intro, nothing. I just had to hop on stage cold. So, I thought, 'I'll go up there and do my little comedy and as long as it's funny they'll be cool.' So as I'm walking on stage, this guy yells, 'You suck!' I can't even defend myself, I'm not even at the mike. So I just gotta kinda look and point and wink, like 'Hey, gotcha.' So I start walking towards the mike, getting ready to think, 'Well, how am I going to handle that?' While I'm walking, a guy from the other side of the room yells, 'We think you suck, too.' So, by the time I reached the mike I'm already backlogged with heckles that I need to deal with. And that was the high point of the show. It went downhill from there."

Here are more excerpts from Regan's recent chat with AC Weekly.

AC Weekly: Your Comedy Central Presents special from a few years back is one of the funniest half-hours of comedy I have ever seen. And I've seen it about four hundred times.

Brian Regan: Thanks a lot. My manager just told me that they're starting to sell that for downloads. Like people can download those Comedy Central Presents things, like on their iPods or their cell phones or something ... I was like, 'Wow, that's cool.' I said, 'How much are they selling them for?' He says, 'A dollar-ninety-nine.' I'm like, a half-hour of my show is worth a dollar ninety-nine? Don't tell me stuff like that!

ACW: Yeah, especially since you can download three or four-minute songs for that amount.

BR: That's what I said! I said, 'A song is $1.99 and its three minutes.' He goes, 'Well, it has nothing to do with the length.' I'm like, well, why don't they factor length into it, you know? I'm still extremely flattered.

ACW: In that Comedy Central special, you do a bit where you talk about your college roommate who was from New Jersey. How he asked you if you wanted to go halves on a pie and you, not aware of that being New Jersey lingo for "pizza," ordered half pumpkin.

BR: Yeah. That is a true story. In fact, I keep hoping I'm going to cross paths with him. I performed at a club in New Jersey a couple years ago and I got a note after the show saying: 'Somebody you went to college with dropped in and said to say hello.' There was no name or anything. I'm like, don't people know how to get in touch with each other? You can't just say, 'Hey, some guy from college tried to get in touch with you.' How about a name and a number so I can communicate back? But I couldn't help but wonder if that was the pizza pie guy?

ACW: Hey Brian, some guy from earth stopped by ...

BR: Right! Yeah, there was a guy from our solar system ... he's looking for you ... so if you can contact him he's still in the
solar system.

ACW: Just get back to him whenever you can.

BR: Yeah, touch base. He didn't say whether he has a phone or computer, or if he'd just be out walking around, but he really wants to talk to you.

ACW: Maybe he'll stop by the Borgata while you're in Atlantic City.

BR: Maybe I should have gone around to local pizza places. 'Anybody come in here and order a pie?'