Especially when the dialogue is this incredibly lame
Ryan Reynolds as 'Green Lantern.'
Super 8 and X-Men: First Class were mildly disappointing movies, acceptable as summer popcorn entertainment but not as good as sci-fi fans hoped. However, if we are grading on a curve — and don’t we all tend to compare movies of the same genre? — Super 8 and X-Men are looking like cinematic giants compared to the bright green drivel that has been unleashed on movie screens with Green Lantern.
Despite having an enjoyable, self-aware leading man, Ryan Reynolds, in the title role of test-pilot-turned-superhero Hal Jordan, Green Lantern fails on almost all levels. The story seems determined to hit every cliché in the universe, the dialogue is consistently trite and therefore instantly forgettable, and every film reference (tons of Star Wars, The Last Starfighter, Superman) only reinforces the realization that this movie can’t even gain any upgrade in class with its thievery of superior movies.
Movies with dialogue this bad and evildoers this lacking in menace can sometimes be redeemed as, “so bad it’s funny.” Green Lantern can’t even get by with that because above all else, it is B-O-R-I-N-G. And it is not just that it is boring until the big-ticket action scenes, but even its otherworldly visions of planets far, far, away lack imagination.
Here is the premise that is botched so completely. The Green Lantern Corps is an assembly of interplanetary cops that defend the universe with the motto: “In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight.” The Green Lanterns are currently in a battle to save the universe from an evil force, Parallax, who draws his power from the yucky yellow of fear; the Green Lanterns draw their power from the cooler green force of will.
On Oa, the home planet of the Guardians (Yoda-like masters who sit on high with really long red robes and dispense bad advice), those Guardians aren’t feeling the love for the Lantern’s chances to defeat Parallax.
This doesn’t sit well with Sinestro (Mark Strong) who has lost his best friend and master, Abin Sur (Temeura Morrison, who is best known to Star Wars fans as Jango Fett). A dying Abin Sur, fatally injured by Parallax, crash lands on earth and sends his Green Lantern ring to seek a new warrior to take his place, which is when Hal Jordan’s earthly pursuits go intergalactic. He is the chosen one, encased in a green ball of light and flown to meet with the dying alien.
Dear J.J. Abrams, I’m a fan. I loved Lost and before that Alias. I’ve been fascinated by Fringe and on the big screen I loved your reboot of Star Trek and your vision of the Mission Impossible franchise in MI3. But I didn’t like Cloverfield and unfortunately, Super 8, your period piece tribute to the Spielbergian era of sci-fi optimism feels at times like it has more of the Cloverfield emptiness, action for action’s sake, than Spielberg’s patented emotional connection with his protagonists.
Using the Cold War as a background to the origins of the X-Men with X-Men: First Class is a brilliant idea since the rampant anti-communism of the era provides a nice parallel for the comic’s world of human beings feeling uncomfortable with mutants.
This look at the most anticipated movies of the spring and summer season isn’t all about the Benjamins, it’s about movies that provide summer fun. Here are 10 movies that look like they are worth our collective anticipation.
In this summer of mildly disappointing superhero movies (X-Men: First Class, Thor, or in the case of Green Lantern, a full tilt stinker), Captain America, directed by veteran Joe Johnston (The Rocketeer, October Sky, Hidalgo) delivers the goods in an engaging fashion.
Article:
Movie Review: Dim 'Shadows'
Article:
Movie Review: Kick-Ass 'Avengers'
Article:
Spring Movie Preview
2012
Article:
Schmaltz Times Two
Article:
Laughable ‘Lockout’
Article:
Bad Cinema
Article:
Puny ‘Titans’
Article:
Movie Review: Let the ‘Games’ Begin
1. Kamaxtli said... on Jun 18, 2011 at 01:29AM
“mmm, but that's all from GL's Comic books story lines, I think they're not planning on making more GL movies as they've mixed like 3 story lines un one, a la Spiderman 3... Hey Lori check some Comic Books before you say "that corny line"... it makes for most of the GL charm and interest. I can hear the fans getting kind of upset after that comment.. but well...”
2. PJ said... on Jun 18, 2011 at 04:30AM
“I like green eggs and ham, but I don't like green lanterns and rings. I will not watch it in a house, or with a mouse... okay maybe I did. And I'm glad I didn't pay to watch this movie. Characters were to cardboard and nothing made me feel for any of them. Bottom line, if you don't care about the characters in the movies then who care's about anything else that is happening. The only character that brought any interest to the screen was Sinestro, making you want to see more of him and what he does but getting nothing but told you aren't good enough to see me in this movie, you must watch the rest of jumbled movie and hope that I appear in it more, I'll tease you at the end by making you think I'm more important that I really am but no.... i'll just halfheartedly say Good luck CGI, hopefully you can be good enough so you can see my ass in the sequel. Then after the CGI i'll be all like DAMN, you da man. roll credits.”
3. jonny wishbone said... on Jun 18, 2011 at 12:01PM
“This movie really was horrible. PJ is right. No amount of flashy SFX and action scenes can save it. Why should anyone care about the action scenes... if the people involved in the action scenes are so poorly written and the plot is just... blegh.”
4. Alfie Norris said... on Jun 18, 2011 at 01:12PM
“I hate to sound like a defensive fanboy, but its evident that this reviewer has no clue about the superhero genre in general, much less comics or this character. Yes, films are for a general audience, but any character in any genre should stay true to themselves - which Reynolds' Green Lantern did very well.
Was there room for improvement? Yes. But the movie delivers the GL with a sophistication unmatched in many movies trying to match their source material.
Sorry, ma'am. You just don't "get it".”
5. Alfie Norris said... on Jun 18, 2011 at 01:12PM
“I hate to sound like a defensive fanboy, but its evident that this reviewer has no clue about the superhero genre in general, much less comics or this character. Yes, films are for a general audience, but any character in any genre should stay true to themselves - which Reynolds' Green Lantern did very well.
Was there room for improvement? Yes. But the movie delivers the GL with a sophistication unmatched in many movies trying to match their source material.
Sorry, ma'am. You just don't "get it".”
6. PJ said... on Jun 18, 2011 at 08:17PM
“Yeah. Alfie it did do a good job of explaining the universe of green lantern, but it never brought you into it. It felt like a mix match of diff super hero films thrown together hoping that their willpower (cgi) alone makes it cohesive. It doesn't and I admit it was a fun movie to the watch just for that reason, but it just left me feeling like I've seen this before. I admit maybe if I saw this movie before spiderman or ironman I woulda been like holy crap. But after its just like yep...nothing new here. Maybe its just the curse of the industry trying to cash in the same concept too many times. That pool of water was certainly cool at first, but with so many fish thrown in its starting to look murky and s**tty.”