Darryl McEwen

{standaloneHead}Darryl McEwen{/standaloneHead}

“Family Feud” is a popular television game show in which contestants guess the top answers to questions in a survey of 100 people. The top four to nine answers are ranked by popularity, with the No. 1 answer being the one that received the most responses; the No. 2 answer, the second most, etc.

Considering the goofy ideas many slot machine players have, imagine what the answers would be if there were an Atlantic City version called “Gamblers Feud.”

Round One

“What’s the best way to guarantee a win?”

No. 9: “Cash out, then reinsert your ticket. The machine will think you’re a new player.”

No. 8: “Using your index finger, tap any Wild symbols on the screen.”

No. 7: “Walk away from the machine. The next person to play will win within three spins.”

No. 6: “Switch back and forth between pulling the handle and pushing the Spin key.”

No. 5: “Set a picture of your grandchild on top of the machine.”

No. 4: “Play ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star’ on the Bet keys before hitting Spin.”

No. 3: “Smack the machine as hard as you can.”

No. 2: “Rub the screen vigorously for at least 15 seconds.”

No. 1: “Remove your players card.”

Round Two

“When playing slot machines, why don’t you win more?”

No. 5: “It’s random, I just have to be patient.”

No. 4: “It’s a weekend, so they’ve tightened all the machines.”

No. 3: “The machine ‘knew’ I won last week.”

No. 2: “There’s a gift giveaway today, so they’ve not going to let us win as much.”

No. 1: “Someone probably just won on this machine.”

Round Three

“What’s the secret to selecting a machine that will pay off?”

No. 5: “There is no secret and no way to tell.”

No. 4: “Find the newest machines on the floor. They pay off the most to get people ‘hooked.’”

No. 3: “Play machines by the door. Casinos want customers to see winners when they walk in.”

No. 2: “Ask a slot attendant. They know which are the best machines.”

No. 1: “Look for a machine where people are waiting to play it.”

Round Four

“What determines how much free play and comps you get?’

No. 4: “Some mathematical formula. A computer program makes the determination.”

No. 3: “Asking. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”

No. 2: “A host, based on gratuities and gifts he gets from his customers.”

No. 1: “How much I won on my last trip. Less if I won — to make up for the casino’s loss; more to bring me back so I’ll keep losing.”

Recreational gambler Darryl D. McEwen, a former professional journalist, is president of his own consulting firm that manages several small national and international trade associations, and provides public relations and fundraising services for a number of charitable organizations. Have a comment on this or a question specifically related to an Atlantic City casino, players club or other promotion? Email Darryl at MrACCasino@gmail.com and he’ll try to respond to you personally. Your question — without your name — may appear in a future column.

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