Atlantic City Weekly

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Location: America – The Gay Marriage Controversy
Dateline: 08.10.12

It’s not about the chicken. It’s not about Mr. Cathy’s rights to say whatever he wants. It’s not about a political statement and taking sides.

It’s about the hatred. It’s about the misunderstanding. It’s about the pain. It’s about the healing needed in America and the world.

This note from a father to his son disowning him because he is gay is an example of what a gay man or woman faces every day in America.

James:

This is a difficult but necessary letter to write.
I hope your phone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle. I have fond memories of our times together, but that is all in the past.
Don’t expect any further conversations with me. No communication at all.
I will not come to visit, Nor do I want you in my house.
You’ve made your choice, though wrong it may be. God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle.
If you choose not to attend my funeral, my friends and family will understand.
Have a good birthday and a good life.
No present exchanges will be accepted.
Goodbye,
Dad

This handwritten note is all over Facebook this week on gay-related issue sites. You can find it on the Human Rights Campaign page if you want to see it for yourself.

It is estimated 25 percent of our gay children are thrown out of their "loving family homes" because they are gay. I have heard the painful memories many times.

I’m thinking of a friend’s story. He’s 32 now and was thrown out at 15. He spent a winter sleeping at night in a plastic pipe on a playground other children crawled through for fun during the day. He went on to get his masters, and is now working toward his Ph.D.

When I came out, my family made the choice to love and accept me. Yet, even in a loving family I faced members with incredibly cruel things to say.

Now, I’m 55, accepting of self and don’t care what anyone says; but, try dealing with venom when you are 15. Suicide rates are four times greater in the young gay population.

In many instances, our gay family is the only family we have left, and we often refer to the other as such.

Here’s what the Chic-Fil-A fuss is about: We want equal rights as guaranteed in the Constitution. And we’ve had to fight for them before, so we are fighting for them again.

A great historical example of gays fighting for equal rights occurred right here in Atlantic City.

Val’s Bar, once located on the beach block of New York Avenue, had their license suspended by the Division of Alcoholic Beverage Control for permitting “apparent homosexuals to congregate.”

The appellate division sustained the suspension. Previously written guidelines from the ABC included “the deep rooted personal contempt felt by a ‘normal red-blooded man’ and the notion that the mere thought of such perverts is repugnant to the normal person.”

Val’s Bar vs. Division of Alcoholic Beverage Control was argued before the N.J. Supreme Court September 11 and 12, 1967, and decided November 6th, 1967.