Out & About: Philly's Outfest

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We don’t have to be bigots. We choose to be.

By Geoff Rosenberger

Add Comment | Comments: 0 | Posted Oct. 11, 2011

Location: Philadelphia’s Gayborhood
Dateline: 10.11.11

Tuesday, Oct. 11, is national coming out day. Now, to most of you that doesn’t mean much; to many of you, sexuality doesn’t matter, but to society in general, it does, or sure seems to from a gay person’s perspective.

Philly hosted its Outfest this past Sunday, Oct. 9. (See photos)

Attended by thousands, it is a celebration of family. Extended gay family is especially important to many who have been disowned by their own families. It’s sad, so very sad to think that Christ’s message of love has been twisted to one of hatred.

As a Christian, I believe Christ already died for all our sins, so we don’t have to die over and over again in our minds. And, I no longer believe homosexuality is a sin, but there was a time I died over and over again: guilt, shame, family expectations, not being normal, etc.

Like many, I went through it all.

It took a long time to understand many of the sins I committed were made up by man, not God. Christ judged no one and loved all equally.

Why can’t we actually understand and practice that?

Coming out in America is still no easy task. I faced it several times. My first coming out was to my parents 17 years ago this month.

Dad was in his 80s and from a different generation and world. Mother was in her 70s, of the same generation and world, and not well. Additionally, my brother Bill had already come out and was in the last stages of HIV.

When my marital separation came, I left Bill with my wife and kids. She could not have been kinder or more loving to him, and the family environment including small children did much to prolong his life.

During my separation, with divorce looming, I sat my parents down: “I need to make decisions good for the kids, free of swirling emotions. At the end of this story, you are not going to like me, but I know you will still love me, and still love the kids.”

There sat mother in tears, dad in judgment, both convinced I was doomed to hell. They rose to the occasion and discussed what they thought best for the children at that time.

It took me years to realize that my father was judging himself as harshly as he was me. His thought process was different. He was judging himself, his wife, their union and their way of raising children, fully questioning in his mind, “What did we do wrong?”

Long deceased, I want Dad and Mother to know: You did nothing wrong, doing everything to the best of your ability. I am happy. Thank you. I love and miss you daily.

In the interest of their privacy, I will not go into the individual coming out stories with my kids. I will state love eventually overwhelmed tears.

Not everyone has a loving, accepting family, and even when the family is supportive, many in our “modern” society badger. Stories are countless about children being thrown on the street at 14 because they are gay and about teenage suicide because of bullying.

One of the great things about Philadelphia’s Outfest was that there were many churches in attendance fully supportive of the GLBT community. There were family organizations, youth organizations, political organizations, community organizations, and social clubs reminding us:

We don’t have to be bigots. We choose to be.

It’s a new world in this day of social media. Last year, over 100,000 came out on Facebook and Twitter through the HRC (Human Rights Campaign). Let’s make sure we build a new world of social acceptance and love.

There is no greater burden and milestone for many in the GLBT community than coming out. Each story is unique. Many are driven by incredible pain. Once out, we are free. Let Freedom Ring.

Check it out, bull riding at Philly Outfest. "Once you conquer the bull, it's easy to come out." this young rider told me.